Thursday, July 28, 2011

Top Ten Reasons Why Terrorists Will Never Succeed in Attacking Malaysia

#1. Terrorist decides to blow up KLCC. He drives to KLCC with the
intention of planting the bomb there, gets stuck in a 2-hour jam, and blows
himself up in frustration. PLAN FAIL.

#2. Terrorist decides to bomb Ipoh as a practice session before
targeting KL. He drives for the first time on the highway to Ipoh trusting the
signboards to get him there, and ends up in Lumut. Terrorist drowns himself in
the sea in frustration. PLAN FAIL.

#3. Terrorist decides to blow up Puduraya. While walking to his
destination, the bag in which he keeps his bombs gets snatched by snatch
thieves on a motorcycle. He pulls on his bag's strap desperately and dies after
being dragged 100m on the road. PLAN FAIL.

#4. Terrorist decides to blow up Port Klang. He succeeds!! But the
next day The Star, NST, Berita Harian and Utusan publish an article on page 10
headlined "Boy playing with fireworks injured in minor explosion."
PLAN FAIL.

#5. Terrorist decides to bomb Johor Bahru. He rents a house as
headquarters and the night before the dastardly deed, three men with parangs
break into his house, robs him and kills him. PLAN FAIL.

#6. Terrorist decides to bomb Kedah to paralyze the rice bowl of
Malaysia. That night, while secretly setting up the bomb during a heavy
thunderstorm (so that no one sees him), Timah Tasoh Dam hits danger level,
authorities open the dam gates and he is swept away in the floods. PLAN FAIL.

#7. Terrorist decides to blow up Bukit Bintang. Upon arrival at
destination, he is accosted by a pimp and spends the night in the arms of a
beautiful woman. At dawn, authorities raid the place and arrest him. PLAN FAIL.

#8. Terrorist decides to blow up the MACC building as he is a
strong advocate of corruption. He enters the building, but before he manages to
plant his bomb, he is found dead after a fall from the 14th floor window. PLAN
FAIL.

#9. Terrorist decides to blow up Serdang Hospital. He enters the
hospital lobby, hears a loud crashing sound and looks up to see the ceiling
collapsing on him. He dies. PLAN FAIL.

#10. Terrorist decides to blow up Genting Highlands. On the way up
the mountain, a speeding bus driven by a 18-year-old boy without a driving
licence crashes into his car and kills him instantly. PLAN FAIL.